Defining the stylish and quiet stereotype

Greta Brown
The Mirror

Part of the fun of studying abroad is learning how to successfully navigate within another culture. Each country has a stereotype for its people, and in some cases, those stereotypes hold true.

When you think of the French, you probably think of a thin, attractive person wearing a beret, carrying a baguette in his or her arms walking gracefully down the street.

For the most part, this stereotype holds true. One of my favorite things to do in France is purchase a freshly baked baguette and nibble on it as I walk back to my apartment. I am trying to implement the other most prominent aspects of the French culture of not smiling at strangers, speaking quietly, and greeting everyone with two kisses on the cheek.

But, until I master those techniques, I will continue giving my biggest smile to complete strangers on the street, laughing loudly in public places, and greeting my friends with a great big American wave and an enthusiastic "Hey! How are you?"

Generally speaking, the French are quiet people. When you go to a restaurant the tables are literally inches from each other, which at first, seems a bit awkward as you are practically bumping elbows with the person next to you, but you soon forget that there are others in the room.

Despite the physical nearness, you can only barely discern the words being exchanged between the French couple to your left. It's really quite romantic.

This kind of timid communication even flows into their celebrations.

I attended a French surprise party several weeks ago and expected the usual hiding behind something then jumping out and screaming some kind of exclamation as the honored guest walked into the room.

As we waited, I asked the young French woman standing next to me what we were supposed to say but received no definite response. Naturally, I thought we would be yelling and screaming, "surprise!" with laughs of congratulations following.

Well, I think I was more surprised than the person for whom the party was being held. When the time came to scream, everyone gave, what I would call, a half-hearted "Woo!" followed by a relatively unenthusiastic round of applause. I mean they were all very excited and happy, but just not with the kind of enthusiasm one would experience with a group of North American students.

Another aspect of French culture that has taken some effort getting used to is the essence of time. The French are pretty much always late, by North American standards. I cannot criticize too heavily though, because if you know me, you know that some of the time, I'll be running a touch late.

But, the French have mastered this being late thing. On the first day of class the professors immediately know which students are international and which students are French. The international students arrive about ten minutes before class starts and are ready with their notebooks out ready to go.

The French, however, arrive about ten minutes after class is scheduled to start without blinking an eye. It really is quite an art. They walk in confidently and calmly and take their seats ready for class. The professors operate at the whims of the French students. They can't exactly begin teaching if 85% of the students haven't yet decided it's time to start, so they are forced to wait, knowing that in a few minutes the French students will arrive.

I haven't quite gotten comfortable enough with this French time thing, so I just arrive when class is scheduled to start, always being greeted by the other international students.

I would say that the French are generally classier (or, have a different kind of classy) compared to North Americans, from the way they dress, the food they eat, the confidence they carry upon their arrival, and their general public demeanor.

Their class is most obvious in the way they indirectly communicate with one another. In most cases, I think this may actually work better than what we as North Americans are used to with a more direct and blunt communication style.

The art of communicating the French way requires you to think creatively as to avoid offending the other by suggesting they do something of which they are incapable.

I was talking with my uncle about this interesting way of communicating to which he responded that by conducting indirect communication, one can avoid "losing face." Thus, communication the French way is truly an art in having to find a way to navigate the conversation so that no one will feel belittled, threatened, or otherwise embarrassed.

Each culture has its own lovely qualities, and it takes a bit of patience to truly appreciate the differences, sometimes a a little more patience than I can muster.

*Greta Brown is a Junior majoring in International Political Studies and French studying abroad in Poitiers, France.