1. 1) Things are not that bad. 2) We're the United States, for heaven's sake. 3) We are the world's largest exporting nation, (4) we produce 25% of the world's total output with 5% of the world's population, and (5) the share of the working age population with jobs during my administration has averaged 62.2%, the highest in U.S. history. (6) So things for every individual American must be pretty good.

2. We all know how great Drury is. And, since I'm a student at Drury, I must be great, too!